Trying to write this while some idiot behind me in the library is probably watching March Madness on his laptop and definitely cheering...
I have a severe case of writer's block right now. Yesterday on my way back from Florida, I delivered a speech to my dashboard on the separatist mindset of Alabama's campus. Right now the fact that I didn't record it or write it down is killing me, and my dashboard isn't releasing any information at this time. (Typical German.) (I drive a Jetta.) (My Jetta's name is Gretta.) (Now I'm just passing the time writing in asides.) (Hi.) Anyway it was about how this campus is fighting the wrong war, a war amongst its student groups and organizations rather than bombing the big issue: it's 2011 and Black students are still being called the N word.
Being a Greek, (as in KD) (as if the Greeks would admit my Irish Catholic complexion) (hi) I have the perfect lookout on the varying perspectives of my peers. Because one moron shouted the N word at a Black grad student, all people affiliated with any sort of "row" not on the crew team have been labelled as racists. Woah woah woah, of course there are Greek racists. I actually succumbed to a Facebook commet fight with this girl and her definitely-going-to-hell friend named Christian who definitely has a boob job (AH) because of the nastiest things I've ever read coming from their accounts. (I know, I know, grow up.)
But right now my school isn't tackling the main issue, and instead they're forming alliances and plotting and framing and I just know they have a bunker somewhere. The other day, there was an opinion article in the CW about the proclamation of an alliance between the Jewish students and the Black students. (Get Whitey?) While I'm glad Oprah and Barbra Steisand are pals, I'd like to think they are for any reason besides one politically calculated. Alliances are good, but what about us? (At least give me the password...)
Seriously though, where are we going to end up if this war is fought with alliances and sweeping generalizations and trench warfare? (Ok, maybe not trench warfare.) Our students need to stop hiding behind a t-shirt and a 15-dollar entrance fee for moral tranquility and a voice. Calling yourself a Christian doesn't exempt you from being a racist. (Sadly.) (I don't think that's WJWD.) (Digression ah)
Instead of allies and axis powers, we should be a league of nations. We should stand together like that old Coca-Cola commerical. (Hell, we should drink more Coke.) Without absolute action, this campus will never see a fulfillment of the racist-free prophecy. I'm talking a mandatory class on Social Identity, or Culture Ethics, or even just a social commentary class. And not for freshmen, or even for sophomores. When you're a freshman, you know everything. When you're a sophomore, you're an asshole because you're slowly beginning to realize you don't know jack shit and you're bitter about that. (It's ok, you know a few things.) When you're a junior, you're in college. You go through an identity crisis almost daily, and you become a big nerd about your major. (When you're a senior, you still might have hope, but you're probably already becoming the arrogant post-grad you're doomed to be, unless you're going to grad school...but that's another day.)
ANYWAY, my point is that something needs to happen to universally shape our pupils (hehe no, not our eyes!!) and change the way we shuffle across the quad. We need to stop jumping in the backgrounds of group pictures to be included in a group-think. We need to stop forming alliances and instead fight the enemy, the racism itself.
We need to get really ambiguous and use rhetoric like our country does, and name this thing War on Separatism. (like War on Drugs, War on Terror.) (Ok, I'm sorry, but you can't just pick a bad thing and start a war with it.) (If I did that, I'd be in like 9 wars right now.) (War on Bad Drivers.) (War on Cheese That Goes Bad.) (War on Shitty Tippers.) (War on Duke Fan Behind Me.) (War on Lisps That Aren't Funny.) (War on #Winning.) (War on Icky Bugs!!) (War on Toothpaste Mislabeled As Gel.) (War on Clouds.) See? Now I'm psychotic. (Come on though, the gel gets me every single time.) (HATE that stuff.)
Ugh I'm praying this will manifest into some sort of column. Suddenly writing for public consumption has me freaked out and doubting that anyone will catch on to my humor. ("But I thought you guys were in on it!") Also, I need to stop doing these little asides. This isn't bloody Shakespeare. (But I have always wanted to say that.) (really?)
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